I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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