It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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