So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize