they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize