I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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