I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
