just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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