Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
