dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize