i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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