my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
