i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
