I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
