i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
