Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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