I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize