roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
