hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
