Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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