guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
