Don't you send me to vm
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
