OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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