I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize