I'm gonna have a badass scar
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
