Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
