I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
