Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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