Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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