speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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