no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
