then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
