My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
