the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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