your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
