i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
