Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i believe in u and ur pee
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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