Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
