Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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