Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
