i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
