Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
