I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
