at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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