So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
