There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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