In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
