She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
