My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
