Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
