Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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