he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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