We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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