I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
