I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
