OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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