she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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