shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
