he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
