im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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