Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
