why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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