Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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