you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
